A comment/story on the parenting of older children.
I only have one. Easier in the fact that I can focus my energy. She just turned 21. I’ve always gone full in with her and was the mom that volunteered as the “band mom” & ended up accompanying her marching band every single place they went for 5years. Chaperoned when I was able to for other activities etc. Not because I was worried about her or anything, because she’s a super independent kid, but because I only had one and knew I’d only have one opportunity to be there for her.
It’s a tough pull to do all that stuff but also make sure they’re learning independence and self discipline but you’ll never regret it. I also put her to bed and lingered longer than I should have.
She’s grown and currently in graphic design school at the university of Cincinnati. She is home for a co-op semester but traveled the 2.5hrs to campus on Monday to spend the week to celebrate a friend’s birthday and attend the homecoming game this weekend.
She calls my phone mid morning and being in the operating room, I call back when I’m able, because she seldom calls me there and it’s usually something pertinent when she does. She answers and sounds upset and says “I’m physically ok.” **mom mode immediately goes to something bad**
All this to say, she’s 1.45hrs down the road and my self assured, autonomous girl realizes that she’s left her favorite lovie (Bunny) at home. She’s a kid who’s dealt with enough that in every aspect she’s a mature, intelligent woman but who’s always been anxiety ridden and the threadbare Bunny is the medicine that keeps it real. Little Bunny got forgotten and she couldn’t handle it. 😌
What do I do? Even as a parent that knows she’d be fine if she didn’t have it and that I SHOULD have told her to suck it up, I told her I’d meet her halfway to deliver Bunny. Mostly because I can. I got to give her one more big squeeze before her week away and as a kid who’s dealt with plenty of trauma on the dad side of her life, it was a way to let her know that she and her mental health are important to me.
Sometimes we will do things we shouldn’t. But also, we don’t know what small impactful thing might be immensely compassionate & meaningful to them. For our family, I’ve always felt committed to overdoing in some instances to compensate for shortcomings she experiences elsewhere. Maybe it was the Bunny special delivery this week.
Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re both amazing dads who are present and committed to being the best you can--I can hear it and your children are lucky to have you both.
Finally got to listen. 😎😍
A comment/story on the parenting of older children.
I only have one. Easier in the fact that I can focus my energy. She just turned 21. I’ve always gone full in with her and was the mom that volunteered as the “band mom” & ended up accompanying her marching band every single place they went for 5years. Chaperoned when I was able to for other activities etc. Not because I was worried about her or anything, because she’s a super independent kid, but because I only had one and knew I’d only have one opportunity to be there for her.
It’s a tough pull to do all that stuff but also make sure they’re learning independence and self discipline but you’ll never regret it. I also put her to bed and lingered longer than I should have.
She’s grown and currently in graphic design school at the university of Cincinnati. She is home for a co-op semester but traveled the 2.5hrs to campus on Monday to spend the week to celebrate a friend’s birthday and attend the homecoming game this weekend.
She calls my phone mid morning and being in the operating room, I call back when I’m able, because she seldom calls me there and it’s usually something pertinent when she does. She answers and sounds upset and says “I’m physically ok.” **mom mode immediately goes to something bad**
All this to say, she’s 1.45hrs down the road and my self assured, autonomous girl realizes that she’s left her favorite lovie (Bunny) at home. She’s a kid who’s dealt with enough that in every aspect she’s a mature, intelligent woman but who’s always been anxiety ridden and the threadbare Bunny is the medicine that keeps it real. Little Bunny got forgotten and she couldn’t handle it. 😌
What do I do? Even as a parent that knows she’d be fine if she didn’t have it and that I SHOULD have told her to suck it up, I told her I’d meet her halfway to deliver Bunny. Mostly because I can. I got to give her one more big squeeze before her week away and as a kid who’s dealt with plenty of trauma on the dad side of her life, it was a way to let her know that she and her mental health are important to me.
Sometimes we will do things we shouldn’t. But also, we don’t know what small impactful thing might be immensely compassionate & meaningful to them. For our family, I’ve always felt committed to overdoing in some instances to compensate for shortcomings she experiences elsewhere. Maybe it was the Bunny special delivery this week.
Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re both amazing dads who are present and committed to being the best you can--I can hear it and your children are lucky to have you both.
Thanks for being our favorites.
Chanda (and Abra)(...and Bunny)